1. Lying on your profile
This is the number one mistake: lying about your age, adding 5 cm to your height, using photos from 10 years ago, or inventing a more prestigious job. The truth always comes out, usually on the first date.
Not only is this a waste of time for you and the other person, but it destroys all trust from the start. Be honest: there's someone who will appreciate you exactly as you are.
2. Being too hasty or too slow
Some people ask for a date after 3 messages, others exchange for weeks without ever proposing to meet. Both extremes are problematic.
The ideal is to exchange enough to establish a connection (generally 5-10 quality messages over a few days), then suggest a phone or video call, and finally a date if the call goes well. Don't drag it out: the initial excitement can fade.
3. Being negative or cynical
Avoid negativity in your profile or messages at all costs. Phrases like 'I hate lying' or 'No drama please' give a negative image and repel good people.
Focus on what you're positively looking for rather than what you don't want. Optimism attracts, negativity repels.
4. Ignoring red flags
Many people ignore warning signs out of desperation or excessive optimism. If someone is unpleasant in messages, disrespectful, or makes you uncomfortable, listen to your instinct.
Common red flags include: refusal to video call, requests for money, inconsistencies in their story, too many compliments too quickly, pressure to leave the platform quickly, or controlling behavior. Never ignore them.
5. Having unrealistic expectations
Looking for someone who checks absolutely all the boxes on your 50-criteria list is unrealistic. You risk missing wonderful people who don't match 100% of your imagined ideal.
Identify your 3-5 truly non-negotiable criteria (values, life goals) and be flexible on the rest. The best stories often begin with people we never would have imagined at first.
6. Juggling too many conversations
Messaging 20 people simultaneously may seem efficient, but you'll end up exhausted, confused (who likes yoga again?), and giving generic responses. Quality beats quantity.
Focus on 3-5 promising conversations at a time. You'll really be able to get to know these people and create authentic connections.
7. Talking about your ex
Constantly mentioning your ex or your breakup in your first conversations is a guaranteed mood killer. It shows you're not really emotionally available.
Make sure you've processed your old relationship before diving into dating. You deserve to start on good foundations.
8. Neglecting follow-up
After a good exchange or successful date, some people disappear without following up. What a shame! If you had a good time, just say so.
A message like 'I really enjoyed our conversation last night! Could we meet again over coffee this weekend?' shows your genuine interest and allows things to move forward naturally.