1Alone at Christmas: you are far from the only one
Being alone at Christmas happens to far more people than you might think. A breakup, a bereavement, a night shift or a family who stayed back home: the reasons vary from one person to the next. Yet adverts and social media mostly show full tables and couples under the tree. So the whole season can make you feel like the only person staying in.
Feeling a pang that evening is perfectly normal. The 24th and 25th of December carry a lot of expectations, and every silence seems heavier. However, that feeling says nothing about your worth or your future. It speaks about one evening, not about your whole life.
This guide therefore offers simple ideas to get through these two days, then a few ways to prepare what comes next. Take what speaks to you and leave the rest. There is no right way to spend the holidays, only yours.
2Christmas Eve: give yourself a real moment
Christmas Eve can weigh more than the day itself. First, night falls early in Belgium and the evening feels long. Then, a quiet flat contrasts with the noise of parties elsewhere. The idea is therefore to fill that evening with a plan you choose, instead of simply enduring it.
Alone at Christmas, you also keep a rare freedom: nobody decides the menu for you. Use it to cook a dish you love, even a simple one. For example, poulet DG, mafé or a cheese fondue, depending on your tastes and memories. Put on some music, light a candle and treat the evening as an invitation you give yourself.
Here are a few ideas for the evening of the 24th, to adapt to your energy:
- Cook a meal you love and set a proper table, with a candle.
- Pick a film, a series or a book in advance and keep it for that evening.
- Schedule a video call with someone close at a fixed time.
- Go for a walk under the lights in your neighbourhood or in the city centre.
- Write down three things you are proud of this year.
325 December: see people and give a little time
On the 25th, many places slow down, but not everything stops. If you want company, other people on their own also look for a shared moment. A neighbour, a colleague far from family or a recently separated friend may well say yes to a walk or a coffee. Being alone at Christmas does not mean you have to stay shut indoors.
Volunteering is also a lovely way to spend the day. Some charities serve festive meals, visit older people or hand out parcels. Ask early, because some of them plan their teams several weeks ahead.
Religious celebrations also welcome everyone, believers or not. A midnight Mass, a Christmas service or a choir then offers a moment of shared warmth, with no need to talk.
- Suggest a walk in the Bois de la Cambre in Brussels, the Parc de la Boverie in Liège or up to the citadel of Namur.
- Give a few hours to a charity that runs a community meal.
- Attend a Christmas Mass or service, even if you do not practise.
- Go to the cinema: some screens open on the 25th, so check the times the day before.
- Join a walking, singing or sports group that keeps going over the holidays.
4Far from home: calling family and keeping the bond
For many people in the diaspora, being alone at Christmas means the family celebrates without you, in Douala, Kinshasa or Abidjan. The distance feels sharper on those days. Still, a phone today lets you share part of the celebration live.
In December, Belgium runs on the same time as Douala and Kinshasa, one hour ahead of Dakar and Abidjan. So time the call for the family meal or the return from church. That way, you hear the laughter, see the outfits and take a small part in the meal.
You can also recreate a piece of home here. For instance, cook your mother's dish while she guides you over the phone, or play the festive music of your childhood. These simple gestures turn a lonely evening into a connected one.
If relatives ask about your love life, answer lightly. For example: "I'm having a quiet Christmas this year, and I'm fine." You do not have to justify your situation, or promise a wedding for next year.
5Looking after yourself over the holidays
The holidays shake up your rhythm: late meals, short nights, more alcohol around. If you are alone at Christmas, keep a few steady habits. Go to bed at a reasonable hour, get out in daylight and eat at regular times.
Social media also deserves a break. Indeed, it shows other people's best moments, never their arguments or their doubts. Turn off notifications on the evening of the 24th, or simply leave your phone in another room.
Finally, be gentle with yourself. A tear during a film or an evening with no energy does not mean everything is wrong. Give yourself the right to feel sad for a while, then to move on to something else.
Also think about planning the 26th. Indeed, the low point sometimes comes after the holidays, when everyone goes back to their routine. So plan an outing, a call or a small errand that gets you out of the house.
6If loneliness feels too heavy
Sometimes the sadness goes beyond a simple low mood. If you need to talk, Belgian helplines answer day and night, free of charge and anonymously. They work in French or Dutch, so choose the one in the language you feel most at ease with. Télé-Accueil answers on 107 in French, 24 hours a day. Likewise, Tele-Onthaal answers on 106 in Dutch, 24 hours a day.
If you have thoughts of suicide, call the Centre de prévention du suicide on 0800 32 123, in French, or the Zelfmoordlijn on 1813, in Dutch. Both lines also answer 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In immediate danger, dial 112. Asking for help when you are alone at Christmas is in no way a sign of weakness.
7Looking ahead: a gentle goal for the year
Once the holidays end, January tends to invite big resolutions. Yet overly ambitious promises run out of steam quickly. Instead, choose a gentle goal that fits you and makes you feel hopeful rather than anxious.
For example: see a friend every week, take up an activity again, join a charity or, if you wish, open the door to dating again. If you spent the holidays alone at Christmas after a breakup, take the time to feel ready. There is no rush, because a new relationship grows better when it does not serve to fill a gap.
Write the goal down somewhere and come back to it at the end of January. Then adjust it without judging yourself. The aim is to move forward at your own pace, not to tick a box.
You can also note what these holidays taught you. Perhaps you enjoyed the calm, or on the contrary felt a real need for company. Those clues then help you choose what comes next, in friendship as in love.
8Alone at Christmas this year: preparing for sincere dating
If you would like to meet someone, the holidays leave time to prepare without pressure. On Koeur24, signing up costs nothing and the site works in French, English and Dutch. So take the time to write a profile that sounds like you, with recent photos and an honest description. Mention, for example, what you like doing on Sundays or the kind of relationship you want.
Your photos first go through an automatic check, then a manual review. You can also verify your identity with a selfie, which adds the "Identity verified" badge to your profile. Next, the distance and age filters help you find people who live near you.
In January, start conversations calmly. Mutual likes show a shared interest, then the messaging lets you get to know each other. An audio or video call inside the app then lets you talk without giving out your number. If a conversation makes you uneasy, you can block or report the profile. Above all, a dating site does not replace your friends or your loved ones: it simply opens one more door.