1Why Have a First Video Call Before Meeting?
A first video call answers the most basic question: does this person match their profile? After all, photos can be years old, heavily filtered or taken from someone else. Within minutes, you see a face that moves and hear a real voice. A fake profile rarely survives that test.
Then there is chemistry, which text hides surprisingly well. On a call, you notice the rhythm of the conversation, the humour, the way someone listens. So you quickly sense whether things flow or feel like hard work. In writing, by contrast, anyone can polish every reply.
It also saves time. Why plan a first date in Liège or Ghent without knowing whether you click? Twenty minutes on camera often tells you. Finally, a first video call reassures you both. Walking into the café after seeing and hearing each other takes away much of the pressure.
2When and How to Suggest the Call
The right moment usually comes after a few days of steady messaging. You have laughed together, asked questions and shared bits of daily life. Suggesting a first video call in your first message feels rushed. Waiting three weeks, however, lets the conversation go flat.
So frame it as an invitation, never as a test. Here are three examples to adapt to your own style.
First: "I really enjoy talking to you. Fancy a quick video call this week, fifteen minutes or so?" Second: "I'm better at chatting out loud than typing. Up for a short call on Sunday?" Third: "Before we meet, I'd love to hear your voice. No pressure at all if you'd rather wait!"
What if they say no? Once is not a problem. Shyness, insecurity or bad timing often explain a first refusal. So offer to keep texting, or start with a voice call instead. Still, if the answer is always no, with a new excuse each time, treat it as a red light.
3Getting Ready: Light, Sound, Framing and Outfit
You don't need special equipment: your phone is enough. Above all, get the lighting right. Sit facing a window or a lamp, never with the light behind you, or your face turns into a shadow. Then prop the phone at eye level, on a stack of books for example. Held in your hand, it shakes and films your chin.
For sound, earphones with a built-in mic make a real difference: less echo, less background noise. As for your outfit, be yourself, just a little smarter. Clothes you feel comfortable in beat anything unusual. Also, a first video call doesn't need to last for hours. Fifteen to thirty minutes is plenty, so you both keep wanting more.
Pick a quiet moment, with no children calling for you and no flatmates wandering behind you. Just before the call, run through this checklist:
- Battery charged and a stable connection, on wifi if possible.
- Notifications switched off on your phone and computer.
- Camera tested, so you can check framing and light.
- A tidy, neutral background with nothing that identifies you.
- A glass of water within reach for any awkward pauses.
4What Your Background Should Never Reveal
Protecting your privacy also means thinking about what the camera shows. Before a first video call, look at your screen as a stranger would. A letter lying on the table can be enough to locate you. The same goes for a recognisable street through the window, a work badge or your employer's logo.
When in doubt, a plain wall or a closed door remains the safest backdrop. On Koeur24, audio and video calls work directly inside the app. So you never have to share your phone number or install anything else. If the conversation turns sour, you can block or report the profile in one click.
One rule has no exceptions. Never let a call drift into intimate territory with someone you don't know. A stranger can record the screen without you noticing, then threaten to share the footage unless you pay. This is sextortion. If it happens to you, don't pay, keep the evidence and file a complaint with your local police. Safeonweb also offers practical advice on this.
5Breaking the Ice in the First Few Seconds
The first seconds are usually the most awkward. You both smile, nobody knows who should start, and the silence stretches. So name the awkwardness with a little humour: "It's funny to finally see you move!" That small admission almost always relaxes the mood, because the other person feels exactly the same.
Next, build on what you already know. Pick up a topic from your messages: the concert they mentioned, their cat, their new job in Namur. Showing that you remembered those details creates an instant connection. Ask open questions, then really listen to the answer instead of planning your next line.
A first video call is not a job interview. So leave exes, money and heavy topics for later. If a silence settles in, don't panic: comment on a noise, a painting or the weather. Many people in Belgium juggle two languages, so agree on the one you both feel most at ease in. Finally, end while the conversation still feels good, simply saying you enjoyed it.
6What Should Worry You During the Call
A first video call also works as a filter. In fact, some warning signs are very hard to hide on screen. On their own, each one deserves attention. Together, they are a reason to hang up.
A romance scam often follows the same script. First a camera that never works, then a moving story, then a sudden need for money. Faced with that pattern, send nothing and report the profile to the moderators. If you have already shared your bank details, call Card Stop straight away on 078 170 170.
During the call, watch for these signals:
- A camera that is always "broken", with a new excuse each time.
- A frozen image, or one that looks pre-recorded: no reaction to your questions, lips out of sync.
- Pressure to leave the app and carry on through another messaging service.
- A request for money, however small or urgent the story sounds.
- A face that doesn't match the photos on the profile.
7After the First Video Call: Follow Up or Bow Out
Give yourself a few hours before deciding. If you enjoyed it, say so plainly, then suggest a concrete first date: "I loved our call. Coffee on Saturday afternoon near the Grand-Place?" Choose a public place and travel there on your own, so you meet the person while staying safe.
If you feel nothing, closing politely is the kindest option. A short, honest message is enough: "Thanks for the call, I had a nice time. I didn't feel a spark, and I'd rather be upfront about it. I wish you all the best." There is no need to justify yourself further.
And what if they go quiet after the first video call? Follow up once, lightly. A long silence is also an answer, even if it disappoints. In fact, this whole step exists to spare you costlier disappointments, in time as much as in feelings.